The Perfect Stranger

 

I need to write. I know I need to write…

Thing is…the screen looks bigger and brighter than before and the pages seem longer. I switch to paper and I’m always running out of ink, as if the words were too heavy for every pen in the house. When the ink doesn’t run out, my eyes are next… and I can’t help but sleep. I am so tired.

I need to run. I know I need to run…

Three races in the month of June. THREE, for a total of 25 miles, not including training! I know I need to run more, train more and take more stairs; but the pavement seems harder and the air seems thicker.I can’t ever catch my breath. I am so tired.

I need to be a better person, I want to be a better person…

I need to be a better employee, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better girlfriend, a better best friend, a better acquaintance and the perfect stranger. I need to be so many things to so many people, and yet I am so tired.

Someone recently asked me what the point of running 13 miles instead of just 3 is anyway? I tried to explain it’s good to have a fitness goal, it keeps you focused. Well then, he says, “What is the point of traveling the road to Hana just to see a rainbow tree? I mean you are following Pearl Jam around like a teenager and BLANK says you are writing some book? Please tell me what is the point of all these CRAZY things you do instead of settling down, buying a house and you know… finally focusing on your future? ”

I stood there silent and quite offended. I don’t even know him really. Who the hell is this guy anyway?!

What I wanted to say:

“What is the point of having another child when you can barely make time for the one you already have in the other room? What is the point of that light beer you are drinking instead of water? What is the point of you acting like you know anything about where exactly I should be in life when you stand in this room at a party you decided to host avoiding your guests? Or was it your wife who decided you would host this shindig, since she seems to make most decisions for you these days? Nice sweater by the way. You do realize it’s almost June? Also, what is the point of doing the same thing every single day with the hopes that you’ll die before your well rested pension runs out? What is your point, sir? Please tell me. Tell me how you are living your life to the fullest and tell me more about how I’m doing everything ALL wrong!”

What I actually said:

“Well, to each his own I suppose! Enjoy… (large glass of wine raised in hand as I join the crowd..)”

What I should have said:

“The point of running 13 miles instead of 3 is to prove to yourself that you set your own limits and you are capable of accomplishing ANYTHING you set your mind to.”

“The point of traveling the road to Hana to find a simple rainbow tree is that I can, because I don’t have kids, a house, or some boring future to look forward to. I know that has to drive you absolutely crazy, but I live in the present the best I can, and in the present I want to see something beautiful and rare. I want to see something that has withstood decades of devastation and still sustained growth and beauty. Why wouldn’t you want to see that?”

“Oh, and the point of following a band around a few times a year that I have loved most of my life is to make sure I still have roots. It’s important to remember where you came from and what you’ve been through. There is truly no better way to remember that than a soundtrack you’ve been playing your whole life that just keeps getting better and better.”

“So yes, I am a little different. I have unrealistic goals. I do not act my age. I try really hard every day to make the most out of every second even when it exhausts me. It’s true, I am writing a book and you can’t imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give about your opinion on what I do and do not write. Keep asking me why, keep drinking your light beer and doing things your way. You do your happy, I’ll do mine. We’ll both be dead soon. Let that sink in!”

xoxo

6/3 Twilight 12 K

6/11 5 mile Women’s Run for Breast Cancer

6/18 Mayor’s Half Marathon

8/22 “Things We Don’t Say Out Loud” – 1st Novel release date

10/8 – Find the Eucalyptus Rainbow Tree in Maui on the Road to Hana

Gatsby Gatsby - cheers to my haters be patient so much more is coming:

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Bellezza Corner

A little happy place for your mind, body, and soul.

thisisyouth

On the quest to live an interesting life.

Killamenjarra

A Beautiful Distorted Melody

Through Open Lens

Home of Lukas Kondraciuk Photography

The Black Veil One

My Diary Travel, Photography, My Sight About Somethings

The Inspiration Shots

“It takes a lot of imagination to be a good photographer."

Keem Prestige Global Success Network<KPGSN

Affiliate Marketing,Self development Projects,Online Entrepreneurship

Mugilan Raju

Prime my subconscious, one hint at a time

The world is my museum

and I admire every painting

BayArt

New Perspective on Life

Adventures of JPE

A collection of stories from different journeys.

Be Inspired..!!

Listen to your inner self..it has all the answers..

Cravings In Lebanon

Share love ...and food :)

chakshuRA - as i see it

by Rohit Amberker

%d bloggers like this: