Last weekend I flew to California to meet my big sister for Ohana Fest in Dana Point, CA. It was well worth the miles! Some bands I had never heard of and some I had treasured for years, & of course Eddie Vedder (insert heart with arrow in guitar here). On the way there I was reading “Girl, wash your face” by the one and only Rachel Hollis. If you have not read this book, you need it. You need it like you need mascara and coffee on Monday morning at 7:00am. Go get it, right now, read it in the same day and watch how your perspective on life changes completely. You’re welcome…Amazon Buy Girl Wash Your Face
Rachel Hollis talks about a lot of life changing elements, one of them being goals we constantly set for ourselves but just keep putting off till tomorrow or the next day. This got me thinking that maybe we put them off because the goals we set for ourselves aren’t really for ourselves most of the time. If they were, why aren’t they important enough for us to even start? I can’t tell you the number of journals I have that start with a weight loss goal/journey I am 100% committed to… and then by page 22 it just goes dark. Blank canvas. I’m somewhere in there eating pasta in the dark, feeling defeated. That goal has appeared and faded so many times I have honestly lost count. Don’t get me wrong, I have lost weight before & I have reached my goal weight, and it didn’t make me any happier or more satisfied with myself. I remember being miserable when I was supposed to feel “energetic and refreshed”. I have friends that are body builders, cross fit champions, & marathon runners who are always pushing me to “reach those fitness goals”. The thing is, these are not MY goals. These are other people’s goals that I have tried to fit into for so long I THINK they are supposed belong to me. It’s like being told your one bra size your whole life, then one day you get custom fit and gain 2 cup sizes. #true story. The thing is, this girl has some MAJOR curves and I’m not a one size fits all when it comes to just about anything in life. I’ve got mac and cheese goals, taco goals, throwing great parties goals, traveling the world goals, writing goals, changing the world goals, and I just don’t want to waste time spending days and hours committed to a lose the same 10 lbs goal. That’s the honest truth. It’s not that important to me. Along with a large list of other miscellaneous goals that do not belong to me.
I have experienced this same pattern in other areas of my life as well, particularly with relationships. I once married a man because he fit the blue eyed, blue collar all American dream that other people told me I NEEDED to have for myself. That relationship lasted as long as it did ONLY because I kept forcing it to fit when it wasn’t for me, not at all. Everything in the universe was telling me STOP, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU, and yet I continued to wrap myself around it. That was a 9 year long lesson for me, but it taught me so much about what I DON’T want out of life, I am extremely grateful for graduating from it.
After my epic weekend dancing on the beach and Eddie Vedder working his magic on my heart, I made a new list of goals which I have listed below. They may not be immediately impressive or have set action plans yet, but I have just posted them in my bedroom to remind me everyday what I am getting up for. I would encourage all of you to go make some new goals. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop starting the same list over and over in a different color of ink. Be completely unrealistic, and dream bigger than you’ve ever let yourself dream before! Don’t include things that are purely physical like weight loss or learning to master you tube makeup videos. It’s ok to be specific, but dig deeper. I think you’ll find that you are closer than you think to your own ambitions in life and that maybe, just maybe, they are buried deep underneath things like Cosmos top 10 makeup tips, overpriced gym memberships, spanx, social groups you actually despise and the empty promises of everyone you are currently comparing yourself to on social media. Let that shit go! Right now. Write it down and tear it up if you have to! Then, make a new list. A life goal for the living list. Because you are alive in the here and now, and it’s a short ride.
-> To be one of God’s masterpieces with the colors of my heart, character and intentions for others.
-> To feel as good as I do jumping up & down in the grass to Karen O on stage while holding my sisters hand and chasing oversized floating eyeballs… much more often.
->To keep promises I make to myself first and foremost.
-> To create a place within myself full of blossoming gratitude in place of past due resentment/regret.
-> To treat people like they are ALL that matter in everything that I do.
-> To be knee deep quivering in love with my life and loved back by those who are guests in it.
->To nourish & love my body daily.
What have you been really putting off till someday? Someday is here, in the now. What is it you really want to achieve for YOURSELF? I encourage each of you to make your own list. Be honest with yourself. Let go of goals that just don’t actually matter to you, and wave proudly goodbye. Create a new list of the deeper meaning behind that goal, and join me on a brand new journey.
Ps: I’m so glad you are here.