Everything Is Not Everything

It is true that compromise is sometimes down right necessary. In any career, in relationships, and especially in love. However, sometimes it does actually hurt more to bend than to just break. Despite all the re-assuring quotes out there that bending is completely ok and what you should do, no questions asked. According to Pinterest on the subject compromise, we should all be more flexible than an Olympic ice skater flying like a pretzel mid-air.

Realistically, the bending takes longer and you’re in such an uncomfortable position while you wait. Your needs are not met. Your desires do not exist. You end up compromising so much of yourself, you don’t even recognize your own existence. Bending doesn’t produce the same immediate result as breaking, but looks and feels broken at the same time. A spoon can only bend so far until it no longer serves it’s original purpose. It’s still shiny, but it doesn’t fit into any of it’s original functions.

Societal standards teach us that we must do things we don’t want to every single day so that we can do what we want in the long run. Everything is about the perfect ending. For many of us that might be getting up to go to a job we hate 5 days a week, living for the weekend which is such a small percentage of your life. For others, it might mean spending the other half of our life chasing the white picket fence dream of marriage, house and kids, only because it’s “just what people do”.  I did that for a minute once myself. In the end, between that 50% of your life, and living for the weekend you end up with about 8-10% of what was supposed to be your “everything”. Now, math is obviously not my strong suit but that seems like a very small gain for so much compromise. These are just examples. Maybe it’s not marriage and kids for you, maybe it’s the perfect body, the perfect home, the perfect novel instead of lots of novels. Maybe it’s just having a lot of money so that THEN you can do the things you actually want to do.

No matter what it is for you, the question must be asked from time to time, what if everything isn’t everything?

What if everything is in the moments in between, and you are wasting it? This should scare you to death. I know it scares me. For my friends who have anxiety, I apologize for giving you something new to stay awake about.

Let’s think about it another way. What’s the best part of a movie? The ending is usually about 5-10 minutes. What about the beginning, the plot twist, the intricate details of the characters? The bad ass explosions, crazy graphics, or the runback scene right before the ending. Do we only enjoy the ending? No, of course not. Sometimes, the ending pisses us off. It’s not what we expected at all and can be very disappointing. Life is your movie.

Stop. Look around. What is it your bending so far away for? Is it worth it? Is it in the present or the past? Don’t compromise yourself… life is far too fragile and short to try and make everyone happy. DO pay your bills. DO work towards things that matter to YOU. DO love, but do not get lost. I for one am done making compromises for people. You’re either all in, or you’re out.

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