3am

There is an undeniable serenity and just the right amount of magic in the hours of 3am-6am that writers and lovers can’t stop falling for. It’s a small window of time nestled between the past and the present. Things slow down; parties, inhibitions, worries. The world is quiet, except for our feet and hearts. Hearts are always the loudest.

Some of my favorite memories with people have been at or shortly after 3am. Some of my most regrettable moments have been at the same hour, and I have no one to blame but my realest self and probably whiskey.

People at this hour tend to be the most honest version of themselves, which can be both refreshing and confusing. It depends what is holding you together at that moment, when you are subject to that window of time without filters.

It is so strange to think of how many different versions of ourselves occur throughout the day. For example, at work I am not the same person I am at 3am. Not even close. For starters, I am required to wear pants or at the very least a skirt. I also have a work smile and a ‘just get it done’ attitude. On the way to work, I am a rockstar guys.  My sunglasses are big and my lipstick is as bright as it will be all day. I feel confident as I sing to whatever songs I am listening to… “Feeling like a 10, the best I’ve ever been.”

After work I am a housekeeper, a cook, an athlete in training and an errand runner. And I thought work was exhausting! We all have responsibilities and change who we are based on the task or crowd at hand. You certainly can’t be the same person you are dancing by yourself that you are in the office or at a baby’s christening. That doesn’t mean you have to completely lose yourself for hours on end. We must adapt. We adjust our levels from high to low.  It’s expected. We are trained by society like chameleons to adjust to that fear of what people will think.

What would happen if we stayed our truest selves 100% of the time? What might we lose, including the illusion of pride we think we have? People are going to judge you no matter what. Whether you’re doing a good job or picking your nose in the car. Yeah, that’s right, we can all see you.

All I am really saying is that it’s good to be respectful and professional when needed, but you take it too far if you are schizophrenic by default. This is bad for you. This is how you end up doing crazy shit at 3am because you buried too much of yourself behind all these different versions of you.

Be true and respectful always, most of all to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being loud, honest and real. Not at 7am, at 3pm, at 7pm and especially not at 3am. You have built up who you are despite and because of everything you have gone through. Don’t dare dim that down to fit into some perfect picture of how you think people expect you to be.

This morning after about 5 cups of coffee between 3:30am and 6:30am,  I updated the blog theme. This particular unicorn you see was spotted downtown in Seattle. I love the randomness of it. One minute you are walking towards the market and the next, you stumble upon a magical creature who wants to show you the right path to some unknown adventure. Now, I stopped following the unicorn after it led me to a narrow alleyway. Nevertheless, I appreciated the trail and the audacity of its presence. I  hope you do as well. It’s not perfect, but it probably stayed the same no matter what time of day it was or who crossed its path. Unicorns have one version of themselves, majestic. Let me know what you think.

xoxo

P.S. I am so happy you are here.

 

 

 

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